those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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