Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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