barbara walters just said penis...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There r osticjed everywhere
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My dick has a subreddit
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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