What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
