How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
