just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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