so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
