Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
