Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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