i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
