something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
