i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
