just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
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... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
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I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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