Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
