I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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