I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
