I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
