I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
