i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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