I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
