I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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