At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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