Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
