They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize