HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
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So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
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Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
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