He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize