it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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