Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
How naked do you want me to be?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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