I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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