Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Are we still banned from the library?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
