I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The air was thick with penises
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize