Screwed.edu
I could have mohawked her pubes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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