i permit you to call me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
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Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
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Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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