Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
