Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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