Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
