dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
