Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
