when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
