Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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