what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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