Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize