It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
sex in a hospital.. check
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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