Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
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