Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
