I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
