Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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