I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize