Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My vagina is officially offended.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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