I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
