I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
