covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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