im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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