Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
even my farts smell like vagina
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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