Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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