When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
