He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
