He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
