I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
