Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
