Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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