Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
