my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
