So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
